'For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. (1 Cor. 2:2)Theological pilgrimage is tough. When you embark on a journey on which you get serious about re-examining some of the things you have believed for many years with supposed certainty, it can be really unnerving. You experience what some call 'cognitive dissonance'. That's a technical way of saying your mind gets messed up! So much so that it actually begins to affect your emotions and even your spirit. It's painful. And the temptation to retreat to the safety of familiar and comfortable certainty is strong. Honesty and the desire for sincere, authentic faith keeps me going. And something else.
As I have explored what I actually believe - e.g. about how we understand Scripture, the nature of faith and understanding, of revelation and authority, the role of the Spirit, community and culture in apprehending truth, and many doctrines that I have taught and been taught over the years - I have had to face uncertainty and change (no bad thing, but challenging). But one thing has become clearer, more certain and even more captivating than ever. And that is simply my faith in the person of Jesus. He has become to me even more beautiful and astounding in his stunning revelation of what God is really like. And the outrageous, sacrificial selfless love that he demonstrates on the Cross, and the scandalous grace he express in his gospel enthrall me more than ever. When you have that as the centre that holds, it liberates you to explore, to question, to doubt, to change - without things falling apart. He is enough.